I get there and let me tell you my heart was pounding. I go to the building and look at the bottom block where the car had hit the building. AND LET ME TELL YOU, THE CRACK IN THE BLOCK IS STILL THERE, AND THE ONE RAILING IS STILL BEING HELD IN PLACE BY DIFFERENT COLOR CEMENT JUST AS I REMEMBERED IT! October 30th 1997-
I move back home and start to look for people with similar experiences or who I think can really "help me". I arrive in the afternoon (as I had drove through the night), we unloaded the truck and I went to sleep. The next day my Mothers friend Astrid follows me over to the local u-haul facility, asks me how I feel, and I told her that I feel fine but thanks for asking.

Over the next month I am trying to piece together the fragments of my memory. I got to the High school and start to ask questions. The coaches all of course remembered me but the strange thing is when I asked them about the steroid trial they all said the EXACT same answer. They all seemed to get this glazed look in their eyes and they all said word for word "I remember something about that, but I just canít put my finger on it!" All the people who I know were there all seemed to get the same funny look in their eyes. I try and talk to my mother about what I am remembering and the thing is everything and anything that I would say her response would be "ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". Even simple things like when I got into trouble as a kid when my parents were going through their divorce, where I went to school in Germany, the fights my parents used to get into when they going through their divorce. "ANDY, THAT NEVER HAPPENED". So I began to cross check events with my father and the rest of my family and they remembered most of the events as I did. This did not make ANY sense. So I stopped discussing it with my mother, and secluded my self in the basement of her house.

I went to see Father Jack and asked him about the steroid trial and his response to me was "Andy, that never happened. We would never allow that to happen. I strongly suggest that you don't say another word to ANYONE about ANY of this and I strongly suggest that you forget that you even think that it happened." This really pissed me off, because I know that I am not crazy but what the hell is going on around here. So I tell Father Jack that I am going to call Dr. Purrizzo and ask him about and of course Father Jack tries his absolute best to convince me not to talk to ANYONE.

So if course I call Dr. Purizzo and get his service at his office as he is on vacation in California. So I tell his nurse that I want to leave a message for Mrs. Purrizzo (as she was the one who was caring out her sexual fantasies on me with her friend back when I was in High School, and was the one who would come up to visit me at Rochester and try and get me to sleep with her) and if anyone would remember it would be her.

The next day Mrs. Purrizzo calls me and I just ask her if she remembers me and if she remembers going to Rochester at all. She informs me that her memory (conveniently) has gone since she has had alstimerzse disease. But she remembers me from when she went to see her son play football against the University of Rochester but that was it. This was impossible since I wasn't playing football when her son (who was playing for Carginee Melon) played the University of Rochester. The next day I get a call from Dr. Purrizzo who is calling me from California while on his vacation. And he says to me "This better be good" and I started to ask him in a very nice and gentile tone about the steroid trial and he starts to laugh at me calling me insane and that I need to have my self checked into a mental clinic. So I ask him about when I worked at the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn for him parking cars and how he hypnotized me and put me on the table to try and find out if I was sleeping his wife and to get revenge for ruining him at the steroid trial. He stated laughing at me again (and I could hear Mrs. Purrizzo and a few other people laughing in the background) and he tells me that I NEVER worked at the Ho-HO-Kus Inn.

So I ask to speak to Mrs. Purrizzo and he tells me that haven't I put her through enough and since she has alstimerzse disease she has no memory, and that for god's sake go and get some medication as I am a danger to society and hangs the phone up on me.

I am now very confused, within two hours Dr. Purrizzo's oldest son (whom I have never met never even knew existed until now) calls me out of the blue to reassure me that there never was a steroid trial and that he has a list of psychologist who would be more then glad to help me. I tell him in a very calm voice that I was just having these strange memories and I was wondering if his father could help clarify them for me. Oh yea, I tell him, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, HOW LONG HAS SHE HAD ALSTIMERZSE DISEASE? He started to laugh and then he said "My mother doesn't have alstimerzse disease!" "Really" I say, well thank you very much and have a nice day. Within one hour the Ramsey Police have called my house and spoken to my mother stating that they got a call from Dr. Purrizzo, and that he recommends that I be sent to a mental institute immediately and put on heavy medication for the safety of the community! My Mother reassures the Police that I am no threat to anyone but I am just having a tough time right now.

This only confirms everything to me that some thing is going on and I am not crazy. So I call a bluff and call Father Jack at home and leave on his answering machine something like "I have a copy of the steroid trial you lying sack of shit and you are on it as clear as day, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LAWYER" and I hang up. The next day Father Jack calls my house and speaks to my mother. I had told my mother what I was doing and just for my sake could you "Please" just play along. Of course when She answers the phone Father Jack informs her that he has contacted his lawyer and wants to know what she knows about this "trial" and where is the tape? What does my mother say?, nothing other then "there really is no tape. Andy just isn't feeling well, he is just 'off his rocker'". Father Jack then tells my mother that he doesn't like being threatened and that if I don't shut up he is going to have the Police come me lock me away (this is the local priest who interacts with all the children).

My mother is of course now frantic and I basically locked my self away in the basement for the next month and didn't say a word to anyone especially my mother about anymore of this, as she has already betrayed me once. But think about it? If there never was any steroid trial, and the whole thing is a figment of my imagination and it all never happened, then why would a priest (if he is so innocent) contact his lawyer if there really could be no possibility of there ever being a tape to begin with. I knew that I was right but the whole world is against me for some reasion and I had to find out what the hell is going on. So I laid low for a while and tried to piece together the scrape of memories which I had as there was still no order.

December 25th 1997-
For the previous few weeks I have been writing down my thoughts to try and make some sense of it all. My thinking is that if I organize some kind of "time line" I can organize my thoughts and get a better picture. What you are reading is obviously the time line. Christmas eve I have no friends to talk to and no where to go. This doesn't bother me in the slightest in terms of depression because my memories are very slowly starting to fall together and become clear. Pilar calls me Christmas eve and we talk as she is in a similar situation. We begin to talk about Aaron and the strange things that I thought were going on at his apartment. Then Pilar breaks in and tells me that her and my stories are identical and she just never brought it up because she thought that she might have been imagining things or some how going crazy her self. About how there was lost time at Aaron's. How she remembers starring off into space and seeing me next to her as Aaron was controlling both of us. This was a great piece of reassurance and made a lot of other pieces fall into place as well as a number of other memories come back.

The most important piece to fall into place and the one which had puzzled me for the longest time was this? I knew as I was leaving Atlanta that they weren't just going to let me go. They must be watching me somehow, but I couldn't figure it out, how were they watching me? AND THEN IT CAME TO ME like a shiver going through my soul. Here I was safe in the basement of my mothers house where no one could get to me because I didn't go out at all. After talking to me I remembered that when I moved back to New Jersey from Atlanta, the first thing I did was bring back the truck. When I brought it back my mother's GERMAN friend Astrid was there to pick me up. The first thing she said to me was "HOW DO YOU FEEL?" and I said "I feel fine" then she said "AND THE CRAZIES IN YOUR HEAD?" and I said "What crazies in my head?" Then she said "That's good". Then she said "ANDY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE BOOK MIEN KEMPT?" "Hitler's book?" I say, I don't know I never read it! She said that's very good.

Hitler's Book "Mien Kempt" is one of the key words they use to control me. Astrid is the controller who is in turn controlling my mother to inform them of everything that I do. It all started rushing back to me. My mother complaining of her trip to Germany to visit Astrid, and how she seemed to be missing a few days and could not remember them. My grandmother (on my mothers side) freaking out saying that she had walked in and Astrid was controlling her in some way and my mothers response was "don't be ridiculous, Astrid is my best friend!" I then remembered from way back when I was a child (maybe 10 years I started freaking out calling Astrid a NAZI at one of my parents dinner parties and of course my mother apologized profusely. But I would not give up and I kept screaming "YOU MAY HAVE THEM FOOLED BUT YOU HAVEN'T FOOLED ME. YOUR A NAZI, YOU NAZI, YOU NAZI!" and I remember her just sitting there and smiling at me and I could tell that she was saying to her self "you are one smart little shit". She had also manipulated my father and has had a sexual relationship with him over the years (I don't know the specific details to this at all). These are all the basic control tactics that THEY use.

At this point I remember going to Astrid's once before when I regained my memory. I think it was between 1992 and 1994 but I really cannot be sure). I followed my mother over to Astrid's and watched as the main hypnotists as well as Mr. Green, and the man with the white hair being there and manipulating my mother. As I tried to get a closer look they had a man patrolling outside and I was seen and they chased me down, caught me and said the "Magic word" and my memory was erased again. The key point here is that now I know how they are watching me, and I know who my new controller is. It is my own mother as they are manipulating her to keep tabs on me. I thought back to what she knows and to what I have told her in regards to anything I am doing with my government mind control experiment memories. She knows nothing of any relevance as I have not said a word to her since the Dr. Purrizzo and Father Jack incidents as well as the arguments we had back in October as to what happened in my childhood and since she would just say "that never happened" to no matter what I said. I just completely stopped talking to her about it. I have, without even knowing it, been specifically giving her disinformation and have been misleading her for months (this is a VERY lucky break). Now that I know this, I am going to use it to my advantage. And as a matter of fact now all the comments she would make as to what I was doing, how she was very concerned as to what I am doing, everything now makes more sense. But still I can only remember a fraction of what happened and I am still trying to put it all together. But I have secluded myself from everyone and now I know what to watch out for, My mother and Astrid.

January 17th 1998-
Using the internet I order some books dealing with government mind control experiments and covert operations (as I still am thinking that this is a government experiment because I keep on remembering being on Navy ships for the assassinations and I keep seeing Mr. Green during the torture experiments and the conditioning. At this point I still have no recollection about the Illuminati or ANY idea about what the big picture really is). One of the books I ordered was "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate: The CIA and Mind Control" by John Marks. In the book he discusses the MKULTRA programs and how LSD was discovered, then how the CIA Back in the forties began experiments to find a "truth serum" to make spy's talk. One of the first projects was with two Navy men and a man called "Weint" (my father now has the book and I am not sure of the spelling of his name), but he was the head of the Psychology department at the University of Rochester. And he conducted his experiments on the students at Rochester in his secret laboratory in the attic of the library at the University of Rochester. When I read I literally fell off the couch as a flood of memories suddenly came rushing back to me. THE SMALL LAB I MENTION EARLIER IS THE SECRET LAB IN THE ATTIC OF THE LIBRARY! (and I have enclosed diagrams). I remember this because when they brought me up there the man with the white hair said to me "Rhino, what do you think of this place? This is all for you!" and I said "It's a f*cking dump" and he said "Well you have to give us some time to fix it up, it hasn't been used in forty years." Then I remember the beatings and the electric shock they did to me. I remember trying to escape and once when I got lose and had kicked the crap out of all the lab guys I tried to jump out of the only window. I opened the window and was half way out when I realized that I was at the top of the library and it was at least a hundred and fifty foot drop down to anything. At that point I knew I was screwed and I also knew where I was from the view. I specifically remember that! Then I remember going back with the FBI once to raid the lab and we broke in and was in the process of seizing everything when someone very high up in the FBI who was under the control of the Illuminati OR the NSA or which ever other government agency they used to control the situation (which I didn't put together until later), ordered the complete halt of the raid and the whole thing was covered up. And once again they erased my memory.

January 22ND 1998-
I am still writing and trying to piece all this together. My mother is a woman who is a "Pack rat" if you will. She collects and saves EVERYTHING especially pertaining to her son. As I am writing down my thoughts to make sense of it all I go up stairs and go to the filling cabinet to where my mother keeps everything. My folder is gone. Everything that pertained to my past, my high school football clippings, my old report cards, the police reports of when I got in trouble when I was a kid. These were the reports I used to shove in my mothers face when we were having an argument two months before when she was insisting that I was never a bad kid. It had all mysteriously disappeared. My mother must have told Astrid when she "reports" to her weekly as to what I am doing and Astrid must have told her to get rid of the file, to get rid of anything that would "spark" any more memories. So now my house has been erased of any memories of my past. I have not said a word to my mother that I know that my folder is missing, but let me tell you I was a serious shock to me as everything becomes reality. But it only adds to the proof of my past. Still no memories of the Illuminati or any other intervention with the FBI at this point.

What scares me the most is not remembering all of these events, but forgetting them again! You see I know for certain that I have my own "QUEEN OF DIAMONDS" if you will (from the Manchurian candidate) locked in my mind somewhere. This is the programming that they use to control the Navy, the Army, The Air Force and most of the elected officials. I know this because I remember coming out of this before. I vaguely remember contacting the FBI, contacting the Rochester news paper looking for articles on the girls death. Looking for articles about a trial during that time. I remember speaking to someone about "the black out trial." I remember driving to a house in up state New York sometime after I graduated, ringing the bell, a woman answers the door, looks at my face and instantly starts screaming as she becomes hysterical. A man then comes to the door. He sees my face, and I see the fear in his eyes as he becomes paralyzed with terror. I have a big smile on my face and I tell them how I know I'm the last person they want to see but I must speak to them and may I come in. They very cautiously let me in. I remember being in their living room and how I told them the story about what they did to me, and how I begged the girls mother to please forgive me for the things they made me do and the things they made me say. I tell them how I am going to fight them and bring the whole government down. The father speaks, and tells how there is no case without you, how they have a video tape. I ask to see it, they look at each other with very exasperated faces, and produce a video cassette from behind the book shelf. I remember, With my big smile on my face I talk about how we are going to get "those f*cking sons of bitches". "My legal team must see the tape" I say and I take it. They both get upset "that's their only evidence and the only copy." I go toward the door and walk down to the front stoop. I turn around and With my big smile I say "Don't worry I'll be back, and vengeance will be ours." Then with the biggest, happiest voice and smile I can muster, I wave bye bye! Like I had just made two new best friends. With them still standing in the doorway, I walk across the lawn to the street. As I reach the street a car pulls up with two men inside. I walk right up to it. The man on the passenger side asks me if I got the tape. "Of course I got the tape" I reply. He says "give it to me" and I do. The man tells me that I did good, and don't forget to wave goodbye to the nice people. And the car pulls away. From behind me I hear a voice filled with unmeasureable anger and pain screaming "YOU F*CKING SON OF A BITCH, YOU F*CKING BASTARD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!" I turn back and see a man with a baseball bat half way across the lawn on his way towards me. Words cannot describe the anguish on his face as he cannot control his tears. The moment I make eye contact with him he freezes like a statue from fear, he tries to muster the courage to continue but instead collapses with the pain now overwhelming him as he screams "NOOOOO" and begins to sob uncontrollably.