So many times, we hear the word divorce, and
our hearts fill with sadness... our minds grasping only
the negativity of the situation.
But divorce can also be viewed in a positive
light. It is the beginning of a new phase in life...
a new act in the play so to speak. While it is true
that divorce is often hard on families, it also sometimes
brings much needed change. It can be a starting over
point... a letting go of something that has served its purpose
and is not only no longer useful or blessing... but that
has been hurting everyone involved for a long time simply
because the parties involved either could not see that it's
time had passed, or were simply not ready to let go.
Many times because of societal pressures
and internalized messages we believe that somehow if a marriage
ended it meant that we had failed, and so sometimes we 'stick
it out' even though we know we're miserable, and that it's
making our families miserable too. Sometimes, divorce
is a sign that we have taken a good look at where we are,
and are ready to let go, and move on.
While divorce can be stressful, it can also
be very freeing. It can actually improve some relationships,
and lessen stressful events such as fighting and arguing
which are detrimental not only to the participants, but
to children who witness them. Divorce could mean,
that someone has acknoweledged their needs, which have not
been met and have been ignored for a very long time.
Divorce sometimes serves as a wake up call
for one or both of the parties, and it causes everyone in
the family to examin their life, their standing, their goals
that they have and why they have them, and take inventory
of themselves on a deeper level than they usually would.
Sometimes, divorce gets us out of situations like spousal
abuse, alcohol abuse, financial ruin due to gambling or
drug addiction.... love triangles created when one partner
breaks the vow to be faithful, hence increasing risks for
sexually transmitted diseases and HIV while the other partner
remains unaware that they are not in a monogamous relationship.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of, I like you, I love you,
but I can't live with you.... and acknowledging that can
be a very healthy very freeing thing.
Nobody goes into a marriage thinking they
want a divorce. (Well, almost nobody) and perhaps
it is this changing of thinking that is hardest for us to
accept. Does this mean I am ready to embrace a divorce
myself? No. But it does mean that if I find
myself at it's doorstep... at least I can hope that when
the door is opened, light will flood in from the other side.
May every man, woman, and child, touched by divorce... feel
the warmth of that light spreading over them like the rising
sun that reaches across the horizon to gently and lovingly
embrace all within it's grasp.
DISCLAIMER:
I make
no claims for the accuracy of this information and express no personal opinion
on the matter. The information was acquired off the web and from authors (owners
of said pages) and other sources and described as "information"
and I wanted to pass it along to anyone who might find it interesting or otherwise
useful. I'd appreciate any feedback you'd care to share with me if you wish
to proceed in a civilized manner. If the work is yours please email me and
we can work something out.
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