By Eric Gillin
America’s war against Iraq, which is coming any day now, come hell or high water, has upset the entire globe. Iraq is understandably pissed, but even NATO — an organization dedicated around the idea that an armed attack against a member is considered an armed attack on all its members — can’t seem to figure out what to do about America.
Who better to ask than the Church of [censored]?
But before we dive right in, there are some things you should know about these Satanists. They don’t worship goats or do anything special with virgins. They don’t believe in gods or devils or the afterlife. And there is no such thing as absolute good or absolute evil. It’s all kinda relative, depending on your personal interests.
So it follows that in this kind of Satanism, political philosophy is an individual’s choice. And while this means there’s no Satanic Right or Satanic Left on the horizon, their views are remarkably patriotic. What they essentially believe, is that life should be lived in the pursuit of pleasures, and we only get one chance to do it.
Sounds like America to us. [No, really.] Let’s see what Peter H. Gilmore, high priest of the Church of [censored], has to say:
BT: Let’s get right into it. America thinks Iraq is evil. Iraq thinks America is evil. Which side is the Church rooting for? PG: Most Church of [censored] members would support victory for the United States, since its secular form of government, as well as its culture, promotes individualism and freedom. This secularism is seen as “Satanic” by fanatical Muslims and rightly so — from their perspective. The architects of the U.S. Government were Freemasons and they held many Satanic values, so we feel that Americans should embrace the role they give to us as “The Great [censored].”
Should a fundamentalist Islamic regime come to power, they would obviously treat Satanists as enemies of the state. To support that outcome would not be a wise choice for Satanists.
Does the Church support wanton violence and destruction? Violence must be seen in context in order to determine whether it is an offense or a boon to the observer. As an American, should our nation be at war, the violence inherent in the destruction of enemy targets would be seen as positive, whereas violence done against the country would be viewed as a negative — though necessary — consequence of war.
Okay, with that in mind, how did the events of September 11 effect the Church of [censored]? What did you tell Satanists?
Satanists view the terrorist attacks by Islamic fundamentalist fanatics as more evidence that pairing spiritual doctrines with governments that are capable of wielding force is dangerous. If a government concerns itself with the secular — not enshrining or enforcing a particular religious position — then it can be a sane structure that promotes freedom of choice.
This danger of those who feel they are the “one true way,” has long been noted by Satanists. The past couple of millennia have shown how dangerous Christianity has been. Particularly when it has been supported by the state, Christians have spilled oceans of blood in struggles between not only their religion and other religions, but in internal denominational differences of opinion.
The recent acts by terrorists have powerfully confirmed our position, and provided the world with ample evidence to recognize the validity of our point of view.
Saddam Hussein has gassed his own people with chemical weapons and committed innumerable atrocities. As you’ve said earlier, the Church believes that might makes right. So, Hussein’s okay, right?
Rights are privileges doled-out by governments. Ultimately, Hussein will have to suffer the consequences of his actions. If his people willingly submit to his rule of violence, then he can get away with continued atrocities against them. However, he is but one man — he could be deposed if a sufficient number of his subjects reject his actions. Whoever finally wins will write the history books and justify their actions.
C’mon, tell us. Who is more Satanic — America or Iraq?
—Anton Szandor LaVey 1967 1.
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
Do not harm little children.
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
Source: The America is absolutely a Satanic nation, by our definition. Iraq is yet another spiritually oriented nation that is ruled by a despot — business-as-usual considering the history of the governments on this world. We see the U.S. as being very unique in history, the world’s first Satanic republic, and so it is important to many Satanists.
America is preparing to go to war without France and Germany and Russia onboard. Cats and dogs are living together. Mass hysteria in the streets. What does the Church of [censored] think about our diplomatic stance?
The Church itself has nothing dogmatic to say. Satanism is a philosophy of pragmatism, and embraces the concept that the ends justify the means. Unfortunately, Satanists don’t have access to enough data to accurately predict the consequences of this conflict, so we cannot presently say what would be a better mode of action.
I was hoping you guys had the inside track. Can’t America just talk this thing out?
Would diplomacy work? Perhaps not. The terrorists — and the governments that support them — are apparently not rational, basing their decisions on idealistic spiritual principles. They are fanatics who cannot come to terms with practical solutions that allow for a diverse global society. To them, life is cheap. They believe in afterlife rewards. Satanists cherish their lives, and don’t want to waste them, so we support the government that we trust will allow for our joys to be attained.
Perhaps it would have been wiser for the U.S. to have engineered Hussein’s assassination and installed a government through covert means that would have rounded-up and destroyed those who wish to commit acts of terrorism against the U.S. government and its citizens. Machiavellian approaches often work better than the bald, “moralistic” confrontations of war.
Terrorists have that whole “might is right” philosophy down pat. Aren’t they equally justified? To be precise, their philosophy is that Allah is right, and they are justified in using any means at their disposal to bring the world under the dominion of their religious perspective. But like everyone else, they must suffer the consequences of their actions. If they rile-up a nation capable of rallying enough force to destroy them — and such force may destroy many of their associates and families as well — then that is what has been conjured.
The survivors may then see that it was Might, not Allah, who was the victor. I see this as a battle between a Western secular society and an eastern fanatical despotic religious society. I trust that the West’s technology and passion for freedom will vanquish those who use force to bring others under the yoke of their religious doctrines.
Peace activists say war is evil. How do you feel about war? War is only evil to you if you suffer from its consequences. At times, even people on the losing side have benefited from its aftermath, particularly when the “conqueror” pumps in all manner of aid to rebuild the conquered nation.